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I can't tell you how thankful we are to have such wonderful families and friends. We have learned that there are so many wonderful people in the world and we are so lucky to have so many of them so close to us. This past week has been the absolute hardest week of my life, and I hope it stays that way, I truly don't think I could handle any trial that is harder than this. This past week has also been one of the best weeks of my life, this week I was given the greatest gift, my little baby boy. I really don't know how we were chosen to be given such a pure and perfect baby boy, so pure that he couldn't stay here with us. As much as we want him here, we know that Heavenly Father is taking care of him now. I have this picture in my head of Cameron all dressed up in a suit (as a little toddler) and being our heavenly missionary. Maybe he is trying to tell me something, I am not really sure, but I haven't been able to get that vision out of my head. Things have gotten better, and our hearts are already beginning to heal. Although I don't believe that the heartache will ever completely go away, I think in time, it will turn into a happy memory. I have one more thing driving me to be the best I can possibly be.
Sorry about the rambling but I have to tell you an experience I had with Cameron when we were in the hospital. When they brought Cameron to me I was so sad but there was something so calming and peaceful about the time I had with him. Not once did it feel like I was holding a lifeless body, he was there. I didn't see the the physical imperfections at all. I was holding the most beautiful baby boy I had ever seen. When I went home, I looked at the pictures and noticed all the sores on his body and I honestly couldn't remember seeing them that day. I was so nervous to see his little body again, I was afraid to see what I had been shielded from in the hospital. When I finally saw him in the funeral home, there he was again, PERFECT in every way, and once again HE WAS THERE!!!! I know that he will never leave. Heavenly Father allowed me to hold my perfect baby and I am eternally grateful for that.
Anyways, Shiloh and I just want to thank EVERYONE for being so kind and thoughtful. We are extremely lucky. THANKS AGAIN!!!!!
3 comments:
You guys are amazing. Really. I have thought about you both so much lately. I have loved your last 2 posts. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts and the sweet pictures of Cameron. His birth has reminded me of so many wonderfully simple blessings in life.
I am so glad to hear that you are doing so well. You have been in our thoughts and prayers so much the last few weeks. And even as time passes I want you to know the offer always stands if you need anything please let me know. Give me a call sometime and we will try and get together.
Sweet Heidi, Your words have touched my heart. I ache for you, and I know that the lord is aware of your heartache. I am so thankful that even though I am so far away, and can't be there for you in person, I can send comfort through prayers. Give me a call when you can. I love you!
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