Christmas Time

Hannah's first time with Santa, need we say more? I love this picture, it is priceless.

THE ARMSTRONG FAMILY

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MY HUSBAND

I am sorry for all those who are reading this...but I would have to say that I have the best husband there ever was and ever will be. I am very sorry to break the news to you, but it is true. Shiloh Armstrong is wonderful. That sums it up. Shiloh has been so amazing throughout this whole thing. I don't think he has thought about himself once. Really, not even ONCE. He has been right by my side and let me cry as much as I want and he still loves me. I think my love for him has grown so so so so much. He works so hard at school and work and still finds time for Hannah and I. I really don't know how he does it, it amazes me. He is such a good dad to Hannah and I think Cameron is thrilled to know what kind of a daddy he got, THE BEST KIND!!!! I just felt very inspired to write this because I have been feeling very blessed for my wonderful family. Well once again, I am sorry for being the one to have to tell you that Shiloh is in fact the best. You don't have to tell your husbands, you actually probably shouldn't. We won't shatter their dreams quite yet!!

THANKYOU

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I can't tell you how thankful we are to have such wonderful families and friends. We have learned that there are so many wonderful people in the world and we are so lucky to have so many of them so close to us. This past week has been the absolute hardest week of my life, and I hope it stays that way, I truly don't think I could handle any trial that is harder than this. This past week has also been one of the best weeks of my life, this week I was given the greatest gift, my little baby boy. I really don't know how we were chosen to be given such a pure and perfect baby boy, so pure that he couldn't stay here with us. As much as we want him here, we know that Heavenly Father is taking care of him now. I have this picture in my head of Cameron all dressed up in a suit (as a little toddler) and being our heavenly missionary. Maybe he is trying to tell me something, I am not really sure, but I haven't been able to get that vision out of my head. Things have gotten better, and our hearts are already beginning to heal. Although I don't believe that the heartache will ever completely go away, I think in time, it will turn into a happy memory. I have one more thing driving me to be the best I can possibly be.

Sorry about the rambling but I have to tell you an experience I had with Cameron when we were in the hospital. When they brought Cameron to me I was so sad but there was something so calming and peaceful about the time I had with him. Not once did it feel like I was holding a lifeless body, he was there. I didn't see the the physical imperfections at all. I was holding the most beautiful baby boy I had ever seen. When I went home, I looked at the pictures and noticed all the sores on his body and I honestly couldn't remember seeing them that day. I was so nervous to see his little body again, I was afraid to see what I had been shielded from in the hospital. When I finally saw him in the funeral home, there he was again, PERFECT in every way, and once again HE WAS THERE!!!! I know that he will never leave. Heavenly Father allowed me to hold my perfect baby and I am eternally grateful for that.

Anyways, Shiloh and I just want to thank EVERYONE for being so kind and thoughtful. We are extremely lucky. THANKS AGAIN!!!!!

We went to the hospital to have a baby. We had an angel instead!!!

I know that Heidi is the one that always updates this blog, but she is currently in the hospital so it is my turn to tell Cameron's story. I think this is also a way for me to get a few more emotions out. Cameron Michael Armstrong was born at 12:27 today. He was born with a very faint heart beat, and the doctors tried everything to bring him back to life. After about 10 minutes our wonderful doctor, doctor Burton came out to give me the news that Cameron had passed away (Heidi was still in recovery and didn't know). As I began to cry the first thing that came into my head was that he had come and gotten his body but it was time for him to go back and continue helping out on the other side. It was like a nightmare that had become a reality, but in a sense it was a good nightmare. Our baby boy had returned perfect back to our father in heaven. It is difficult for both of us at the moment, we are still wiping away tears every time we think of not being able to bring him home, or watch him grow. It makes me weep to know that I won't get the chance right now to teach him how to throw a ball, or wrestle with his sister. It is hard I won't lie, but I want everyone to know that we are OK. We have the gospel and we know that we will be with Cameron in the near future. I don't know how anyone could get through this without the knowledge of eternal families! We are at peace with the situation, and know that we now have a special guardian angel watching over our family. I want you to especially keep Heidi in your prayers, because I know that it will be even more difficult for her. We want to thank everyone for their prayers and let each of you know that everyone's prayers were answered. Sometimes they just come in ways unexpected. Our prayers were answered by an angel.

PRAYERS

This past month has been quite a whirlwind month. We have been in and out of the doctors office and already have had 4 ultrasounds. When we went in to get the ultrasound to see if the baby was a boy or girl, they were unable to see his stomach... so they asked us to come back in a few weeks and try again, we did and unfortunately we had no luck. My doctor set up an appointment with an perinatologist so they could take a more thorough look. Well like the times before, they there weren't any signs of his stomach. They call this kind of thing esophageal atresia :Congenital esophageal atresia (EA) represents a failure of the esophagus to develop as a continuous passage. Instead, it ends as a blind pouch. Tracheoesophageal fistula (TEF) represents an abnormal opening between the trachea and esophagus. EA and TEF can occur separately or together. EA and TEF are diagnosed in the ICU at birth and treated immediately.
We are still not sure of the extent of it and really won't know until he is born. They have asked us to live in Salt Lake for the last month of my pregnancy and deliver there too. I don't think I would normally post about this yet, but we would love it if you would keep our baby boy in your prayers. I believe the larger the army the more the miracle. We will keep you posted on whats happening. We have a meeting with the surgeons who will be operating on him and they should let us know how everything works and how they are going to go about all of this.
I think through all of this, we will walk away so much stronger and have much stronger testimonies. I know this isn't a testimony blog, but I would just like to say that I am so grateful to know that families are forever and eternal. I don't think I would be able to handle this situation if I didn't know that. My family means everything to me and I can't believe our family of three will soon be a family of four. I definitely know that Heavenly Father hears our prayers and he knows the sincere and righteous desires of our hearts and is just waiting for us to ask for those blessings he has in store for us. So please please please, keep him in your prayers.

Washington

Hannah and I went to Washington with my mom this past week and had such a fun time. I really missed Shiloh but absence makes the heart grow fonder right? We went shopping and just had fun visiting with my Grandma and some of my Aunts, Uncles and cousins who live there. It was beautiful. It is always fun to spend time with my mom, I am very grateful for her and I love her so much. Hannah learned to swear while we were gone. She now says " oh sheet and beech" sorry if that offends anyone, but I think it is so funny. Don't ask me where she picked up the potty mouth because I sure don't say those things and I am pretty sure Shiloh doesn't either. Anyways, she is growing and getting so big and I am loving almost every minute of it. I could do without the temper tantrums but I guess we have to take the good with the bad.

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